英语幽默笑话：十大“损招”气死你的室友

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10Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bakeyour roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He justdidn't belong."

　　英语幽默笑话招数一、收集一堆土豆、给它们辨别画上脸、取名字。而后把那个以你室友命名的跟其余土豆分开。多少天后把它烤来吃了，跟你的室友阐明说：“它就是跟大家合不来嘛……”

2.Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern。

英语幽默笑话招数二、把房间里所有东西都移到墙边，一边很认真地盯着地板看，一边问你室友：你觉得一头大象能有多重呢?

3.Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "The hair, it's growing. Growing!"

　　英语幽默笑话招数三、在你的鼻子上画一条细线，每天加粗一点，然后对着你的室友喊：“看!它在成长!在成长!”

4.Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon...."

　　英语幽默笑话招数四、买一些刀回来，天天晚上磨，边磨边看着你的室友小声嘟哝：“快了、就快了……”

5.Collect hundreds of pens andpile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil。

　　英语幽默笑话招数五、买一大堆笔回来，在房间的一边排列好。然后只把其中一支放在房间的另一边，对着它大笑。

6.Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint.When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Lateron, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this upfor several weeks。

　　英语幽默笑话招数六、对你室友说：“我有个重要的消息要告诉你!”然后装晕倒。接着等你醒过来的时候就跟他说你忘记是什么新闻了。等一会，又说“哦!我记起来了!”然后连续装晕倒。这样持续玩上个多少星期。

7.While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan。

　　英语幽默笑话招数七、趁你室友外出的时候，把你的鞋子沾在天花板上，等他回来的一刹那坐在地板上，摸着头大叫痛。

8.Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?" Complain loudly that you are hungry。

　　英语幽默笑话招数八、做个三明治，不要吃、把它丢在地板上。然后就忽视那块三明治、直到你室友受不了把它给扔了。这时候你就可能大声喊饿，问：“我那该死的三明治哪儿去了!?”

9.Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loudas you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keeplooking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"

　　英语幽默笑话招数九、每次你室友回来的时候都大声欢呼：“哇!你回来啦!!”而后围着他跳舞跳上五分钟，接着就始终看表，问他：“你是不是该出去一趟啊?”

10.Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."

　　英语幽默笑话招数十、跟你的米酥(一种零食)讲话，然后突然!表现出你被冲撞的样子，把装米酥的碗摔在地上、并一脚踹上去。跟你的室友说你不会打扫，并说明：“我就是要看他们被折磨的样子!”线话英语：www.xinhengshui.net